


Surprise

by Squirrelsatemypizzas



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, You're in for a long ride friends, and also that it's gonna take a while for the main couple to start dating and such, and by long I mean I have no idea when the next update is and I'm sorry, childhood friends au?, i dont know what its about tbh, moving au??, sorry about that, yea i have no idea how this is gonna end up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-13 06:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2141406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squirrelsatemypizzas/pseuds/Squirrelsatemypizzas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Kirstein moved away as a child, and left behind his friends. Ten years later, he moves back, to the house he grew up in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I remember, that no matter how much of an asshole I was as a kid, I always had someone beside me. It was either my mom, or my best friend, or whomever I decided was good enough for that moment.  
There have been times when I had to be alone about it, though, like when I accidentally got into a fight with my best friend. I never forgave myself for that.  
He did, though.  
  
I've moved twice in my life. I don't remember much of it, but as a kid, I remember living in a yellow house, in a small village, with my grandmother, and parents. I think I had quite a few people I hung around with, and among them, was a guy named Marco. I remember him being my best friend in the whole world at that time. He would tell me that I shouldn't play in the mud when we were in kindergarten, about how my mother would be angry. He would also try to stop me from fighting with Eren, together with Armin, who would try to pull the asshole away from me. The two of then were pretty close, and whenever Eren and me were in one place together, they were there, as well as Mikasa, Eren's gorgeous adopted sister.  
I was so sure he wouldn't leave me.  
And I'm pretty sure he believed so as well.  
  
Around Christmas in second grade, my dad died. I don't remember crying at his funeral, even though I remember how much my mother cried at his hospital bed the many weeks before. He ended up in a plane crash, and had little chance of survival. He fought till he died, the doctors had said, and I believed them. I vowed then to protect my mother, and never shed a tear if I could help it.  
She made us move that summer, to a city several kilometres away. I remember not shedding a tear at that either, even if it suddenly got harder, when I saw Marco cry.  
  
The time in the city was okay. I managed to befriend some people, Connie and Sasha, as well as Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt. They were about the only people who would take my shit, so I hung out with them. It was a lot of fun at times, even during the tougher times during puberty. But even then, they didn't give a fuck when I found out I liked both boys and girls, and even teased me for it.  
  
"Aw, c'mon Jeanie, isn't that guy completely your type?" "Nah, Sash, I bet he'd rather hit up with that girl over there, see?" Was something I was used to hearing from the Con-Sash duo. They had made it their mission to get me laid, somehow, during my many years at St. Rose. They had succeeded, as well, but not with finding me long-time relationships.  
"No, didn't he try her last month? Said something about she was too obsessed with criminal series?" Sasha managed to say with her mouth full of chips.  
"Yea, and I've had enough of that kind of people, to be honest," I sighed, and sighed at the lack of milkshake in my paper cup. Maybe I shouldn't have drank it so fast.  
"Didn't you have a friend who wanted to work with law or something? Back in Trost?" Reiner placed his elbow in the table, and turned to face me.  
"Yea, Eren Jeager, he’s the only one from my hometown who had somehow found me on Facebook. He's pretty hard to handle, in my opinion, so one of him is enough for me," I crumbled the cup in my hand, and threw it in the thrash not too far from where we sat. I scored and celebrated internally.  
"Wait, he's the only one from Trost you've contacted since you left?" Connie turned his head to look at me, pausing from trying to steal more chips from Sasha.  
"As I said, he's the only one who's found me…"  
"You haven't bothered to look for the rest?" Annie deadpanned. I felt my face getting a bit warmer at the realisation.  
"Wow, you meanie, not even bothering to talk to your friends!" Sasha frowned towards me. "No wonder you suck at keeping a date for more than like three weeks at most!"  
"Shut up, Sash, Con's gonna steal the rest of your chips," I said as I lowered my head into the safety of my crossed arms at the table. I heard her hiss, and I could almost see how she tries to keep him away with her feet.  
"Jean," Bertholdt said carefully, "I think you should try to talk to your friends, as you're moving back there again soon, right?"  
Ah, yes, my second moving, I had almost forgotten at that time. My grandmother had also died, and left the house to me in her will. My mother wanted us to move back, as it would help our economy problems left from my father's hospital bills. There would be fewer bills, and therefore a bit easier to sleep at night. She also said some bullshit about how it would be good for me to get away from the city, and all the pollution.  
"Bullshit, I bet they've forgotten me already," I made a waving-like motion with one of my hands, and looked up from the darkness I had hidden in. "Besides, I bet none of them would even want to talk to me after all these years."  
I had been nine years old when I moved, and now I was about to start my final year of high school, at the age of seventeen. After spending so much time away from them, they were doomed to have changed. They would most likely be impossible to recognise.  
Or so I thought. Eren had befriended me some weeks before, because his mother had somehow been in touch with mine, and she had told him we were coming back. He had immediately searched for me, and found me, and didn't think twice about sending a friend request. I had accepted thinking why the fuck not, and the first thing he had done then, was to check my timeline, and then ask what the fuck I had done to my hair. That asshole.  
"Anyways," I continued, "Eren has most likely told Armin that I'm coming back, and if they haven't told the entire city about it yet, I bet they're thinking it should be a surprise or something."  
"Well, I bet that would be one hell of a surprise!" Reiner barked a laugh, and Bertholdt looked like he was about to apologise to the people around us.  
"... You lived in Trost, right?" Annie asked me, before looking at Bertl as she sent some telepathic message or something. He and Reiner then seemed to remember something.  
"Hey, Reiner, didn't...?"  
"Yes he did!"  
"Did he ever-"  
"Yes I think so!"  
"And he is, isn't he?"  
"What?" I interrupted their sudden weird conversation. "What the fuck are you talking about?"  
They seemed to share a telepathic thought, and shook their heads.  
"What?"  
"Won't tell, sorry!" Reiner grinned at me, and Bertl smiled apologetically. "It's a surprise," he said, where Reiner continued, "but to whom, we're not sure!"  
I just stared at them, before shaking my head. I would never understand what the hell they were talking about at moments like these.  
  
Two weeks after that small group meeting, I was at the airport closest to Trost. Even if it was the closest, it was still four hours away by car. Connie and Sasha had both promised to keep me entertained. They didn't let me down, because I got at least three messages a minute, saying anything from "Sasha just ate a whole bread by herself!!!" to "dry bread will be my death!! Avenge me!!!!", I barely had any time to respond.  
When we were about halfway to Trost, Reiner sent me a text asking me to give him a call when I was finished unpacking all my stuff, and I responded, "see u in 3 days", because there was no way I would get it all done in a day, and I bet he already knew.  
  
When we were finally by the house, Sasha and Connie had finally fallen asleep, my feet had fallen asleep, and I had no more power on my old-as-balls iPod, so I was bored as hell. I couldn’t wait to get to bed.  
Unfortunately, there were someone waiting for me outside the yellow building, and I really didn't like what I was seeing.  
"Hey, Horseface, how long were you expecting us to wait?"  
"I never asked you to wait for me, you ass," I said, feeling way too tired to deal with the situation.  
"Just get out of the car, so we can help you carry in your bags," Eren sighed, and I reluctantly got up, feeling my legs protest as I placed my weight on them.  
Eren had brought Armin with him, and both of them helped out, after the little blonde told me it was good to see me, and I thanked him and said the same back, to be polite. To be honest, I didn't know how I felt about moving back after so long, and the long car trip didn't help at all. All I needed right there and then, was some damned sleep, and after both had left, I collapsed on my bed, not bothering to take off even my shoes.  
The next day they came again, and we actually finished unpacking that day. Eren and I didn't quarrel, either, which was also a plus. He could have seen how tired I had been the day before, and thought, the hell with it, and decided to actually do something helpful.  
Armin told me they had kept it a secret that we came, as I thought, and that they wouldn't say anything before school started, in three days. Perfect, I thought, until I realised I had nothing to do, some hours later. After scrolling trough twitter for a few hours, and also Facebook, I had nothing else to do. I had already checked out the school I was going to attend here, and also looked at Google maps what the road between the two cities I had lived in was like. My mother had made me do the dishes, and clean my room, and help with laundry, so no more chores could be done. I guess I could go outside? No one would recognise me anyways. I’ve changed a lot in ten years.

My laptop bleeped to tell me that someone was trying to get my attention on Facebook. I opened it and saw that Eren had sent me a message, and that Armin had sent me a friend request. I accepted the request, and checked the message.

**Eren: dont fuking thnk abut goin outsid mothfuker**   
**Eren: remember te thng abot it bing a surprise**   
**Me: ye ye I get it**   
**Eren: u wer thinkin abot goin outsid  a son s i lggd off wrnt u?**   
**Me: no**

Another chat opened, and I saw that Armin had messaged me as well.  
  
 **Armin: even if you moved away ten years ago, there’s still a chance that someone would recognise you  
  
** are they telepathic or something? I thought, as I wrote a reply for him.  
  
 **Me: rlly armin?**

**Me: seriously?**

**Armin: I mean it!**

**Me: maybe a haircut and some baby fat ago, yea**

**Armin: I recognised you, didn’t I?  
Me: yea, but u knew I was comin**

**Armin: …true**

 

I closed the chats and looked out the window next to my bed. If I stood in front of it, I could see the big garden behind the house, and the forest behind it. As a kid, I remember playing in the forest with my small group of friends. Eren and Armin was part of it, as well as Mikasa, and several others. From what Eren had told me, most of them had moved away, so the small group was even smaller. The only ones left here were Marco, Armin, Eren and Mikasa. And now me, but that was a secret until school started.

I then remembered there was a cinema in town, and quickly asked Armin if it was still there.

 

**Armin: yea, they tried to tear it down, but the students in town almost started a riot at that.**

**Me: r there any good movies on?**

**Armin: well, there’s the Guardians Of The Galaxy, but I guess that’s the best one for the moment**

**Me: r u srsly gonna keep me from seeing it**

**Armin: yea  
Me: dude, COME ON**

**Armin: secret, remember?**

**Me: ill remember this**

I sighed dramatically, and laid back on the bed. What the fuck was I supposed to do for an entire week when I wasn’t allowed out? I stared at the screen, hoping something would happen if I just stared at it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t that lucky, so I refreshed it.

That was when I saw the profile picture of the most attractive girl I had ever laid eyes on. The next surprise I would find was her name. Fuck. I didn’t know Mikasa had grown into such a babe. Was I even allowed to befriend such a beauty? Was I worthy?  
Well, fuck knows, I thought, as I sent her the request and waiting for the response, almost shitting my pants in anticipation.

She didn’t respond right away, so I sighed dramatically again, before typing out something new in Armin’s and Eren’s chat windows.

 

**Me: u guys gonna keep me company or let me slowly rot alone in my room?**

**Eren: u wr te 1 wo wntd 2 kep it a scrt**

I didn’t really understand what he just wrote, so I checked Armin’s response.

**Armin: well, I guess we can’t help it, keeping you inside until school starts.**   
**Me: u gonn bring Eren?  
Armin: he said he wasn’t coming?  
Me: yup  
Armin: he’s coming.**

I silently thanked Armin’s stubbornness. I then made a mental note to myself to not let him know about it.

After sighing ONCE AGAIN, I rose from my bed, bringing my phone with me in my back pocket, in case Mikasa accepted my request while I was away from my computer. I was tired as hell of just sitting in my room, and I hadn’t been in the garden for YEARS, so I thought why not.

I saw my mother on the terrace behind the house, drinking coffee. When she saw me, she put the cup down on the table, and made a gesture, telling me to sit down as well.

When I sat down, we sat in silence for a few minutes, looking at the garden, and feeling the slight chill from the breeze. I should have taken a jacket or sweater or something.

“Remember how you used to climb those trees?” she said, looking far into the distance. It didn’t seem like she was looking at the trees, it was like she was staring at a movie projected from her memories.

“You fell down many times, but you never stopped climbing. When you were sad, you sat in one of the taller trees, and when you played with your friends, you often climbed to the top, as if you competed. It was always you or Eren who climbed the furthest. Sometimes, your other friend would come to me crying because one of you fell. What was his name, was it Mark?”

“Marco,” I responded, still looking at the trees.

“Ah, I was close! So close!” she laughed, still seeming like she was very far away. Was she remembering that, or was she remembering the time before my father died? I would never know. Perhaps both, as that time was before my father was hospitalised.

“Armin was also crying, but he kept you two company, I remember. I always kept superhero Band-Aids for you two, I still do, isn’t that weird?” she laughed again, and I felt sad, because I felt as if she really wasn’t there, and that if I reached out to her, she wouldn’t be there. She would be gone. I didn’t like that feeling. I almost wanted her to stop.

I rose from my chair, and marched into the kitchen. I needed a drink. Water was good enough; I just needed to get this feeling away, so I didn’t care if I drowned it.

In the middle of me feeling sorry for myself, Mikasa had accepted my friend request. And I couldn’t care less.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Armin are pretty good friends, in the end, arent they?

Behind my house, there’s a big garden, and then a giant forest. As a kid, I often played there, together with my small group of friends. We would climb the trees, or go to the giant lake deep in the forest. My mother would in the beginning ask how the hell we managed to get fucking soaked through our clothes (she didn’t use those words though) and Armin helped keeping it a secret that Eren and I had shoved each other into the water while the other being fully dressed, and afterwards managing to pull the other with them. There was also a beach near it, but we never bothered going to it, as it was on the other damned side of the lake.

When Eren, Armin and I came to the lake this time, I noticed how there was made way to make it easier to get to around the lake. Before, there had been lots of trees and branches blocking the way, but after ten years, there was doomed to have been lots of people walking there, and slowly but surely, making it easier to get there. We didn’t go there now, we just sat near the water, chatting about what has changed the last ten years.

“Wait, so how many people did you say you’ve dated?”

“Three guys and four girls. Why do you ask?”

Eren looked at me as if he had just become witness to some of the most mind-blowing information ever.

“I really can’t imagine you dating anyone, though” he mused, making some pouting face which I guessed was his thinking face or something like it.

“What the hell? I’ve dated more than you have!” I grimaced at him, knowing that I was right. He had never dated anyone, he had told me earlier, and I was so going to use this information as blackmail material somehow. I just didn’t know what for yet.

“Guys, are you seriously going to fight over that?” Armin placed his head in his palm, and sighed. He had always been the one to stop the two of us from fighting, but that didn’t mean he never got tired of it when it was stupid small stuff we were fighting over.

“He started it!” we stated at the same time, before proceeding to glare at each other. Even after ten years, this had never changed.

A song suddenly started playing, startling me. I then recognized the lyrics for the song “Ms New Booty”, and gave Armin a confused stare. He seemed as confused as me, until he gave Eren a glare, and picking up his phone. Eren whispered, “put it on speaker”, and he did

“Hello?”

“Armin, it’s me” a cheerful male voice said from the other end of the call.

“Marco! How’s it going?” Eren grinned when he heard the voice.

It was silent on the other end for a bit before I heard a sigh, and he asked, “speaker?”

Armin nodded until he remembered he couldn’t see him. “Yea, Eren’s idea.”

“Who else,” he sighed again, before changing subject. “Hey, I heard from Bertl, is it true?”

Eren and I exchanged a confused look, and Armin asked, “what did you hear?”

“That Jean’s coming back!” he seemed cheerful about it, and I almost felt bad about keeping it a secret.

“He’s not here yet, though,” Eren said, keeping his voice in check.

“Connie told me that he and Sasha had kept him company on the way”

“They drove the whole way”

“Sasha said they took the plane really early”

They didn’t have an argument for that one. After some moments of awkward silence, Marco was the one who broke it.

“Is there something you guys aren’t telling me?”

Holy shit, was my first thought. I felt shivers in my whole body. I felt my blood rush to my face, and I really hoped my face wasn’t as warm as I felt it was.  
Is it bad to be attracted to a voice?

“… Sorry, it’s a secret”

“He’s with you now, isn’t he?”

I could see Armin sit straighter, his shoulders a bit tenser than usual.

“What?”

“Jean’s there, isn’t he?”

Armin and Eren exchanged a nervous glance again, and Armin sighed in defeat.

“It was supposed to be kept a secret until school started again,” Eren explained. “Unfortunately, the others forgot, I think…”

“No, actually, I never told them to keep it a secret,” I admitted to Eren, making sure Marco couldn’t hear me. He just stared at me like I was stupid. Perhaps I was, in this situation.

“Well, the others sure as heck never got _that_ message,” Marco seemed to be back to normal again. That is if normal meant cheerful for no fucking reason.

“So, when’re you coming back from your grandma?” Armin smiled.

“Sunday, so I will unfortunately not have time to meet with you guys,” I heard another sigh.

“Aww, that’s too bad. Then we can’t hang out,” Armin’s smile turned a bit sad after hearing it.

“But, hey, I gotta go, gran’s made cookies and Bree is about to eat them all without letting me taste!”

“Ah, Gran Bodt’s famous cookies, you better hurry while there’s still some left!” Eren laughed and they said goodbye, after making him promise to bring some with him when he came back.

“By the way, Armin,” I said, as I laid back down in the grass, looking at the sky – or rather, what I could see of it, between the branches and leaves.

“What?”

“Do all of my friends know each other?”

“Yup,” Eren answered, plucking some grass, probably because he didn’t have much better to do.

“And is there anyone you all know that I don’t know?”

“Ymir and Historia?” Armin responded, not sure if I actually knew them or not.

“Who?”

“Ymir is Marco’s cousin, and Historia is her girlfriend. Historia's in our class, while Ymir graduated last year. Ymir is also friend with Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie,” Eren explained, as if he was stating the obvious. Perhaps he was, but how could I know?

“Also, Bree is Marco’s younger sister, she’s currently twelve,” Armin reminded me that Marco had mentioned her in the conversation they just had.

“So, are there any other people I should know about?” I sighed in annoyance, knowing that this was a small town, and that about everyone here knew everyone.

“Well, if you’re going to befriend Marco again, you should know that he babysits lots of kids, and that he has a younger brother as well, named Tony. One of the kids he babysits the most is Melody, who often comes to visit him. We think she might like Tony, but they’re still kids, so who knows,” Armin told me, and I feared he was going to tell me the names of all the kids, but he didn’t, and I was grateful for that.

We talked like that for a while, sitting or lying in the grass, until Eren said something I didn’t like, and we almost started fighting again. Armin got tired of our shit, and he was also the one who noticed how dark it had become. We decided to hang out again the next day, and went to each our own.

“Jean, your jeans are green again. Did you sit in the grass for too long?” my mother had never been able to keep her accent away, so my name and the jeans sounded the same. God damned French roots. And it was only my name, and ‘jeans’ that had French pronunciation. Everything else was the usual local accent.

“Yes, we went to the lake, and sat there for a couple of hours,” I responded, as I opened the fridge to see if there was any orange juice left. None. Damn it. I closed it, deciding I wasn’t _that_ thirsty.

“You and…?”

“Eren and Armin,” I answered, ignoring the fake shocked face she made, and how she said in a mocking voice, “my Jeanie-boy has friends?”

I yawned as I closed the door to my bedroom. To be honest, I was kind of sleepy, or at least tired, but I knew I had to check one thing.

I opened my laptop to check Facebook, and noticed that Marco wasn’t the kind of person who would add someone as a friend just because they heard they were coming back to town, unlike Eren. I was kind of grateful about that, and told myself that I wouldn’t add everyone in my old friend group before I had met them again (Mikasa was an exception).

I flopped down onto my bed, with my face into the pillow. I hadn’t had a reason to go out in weeks, because it was summer vacation, and most of those I used to hang out with, were traveling to some beach, or to their grandparents, or anywhere, really. Annie was home all vacation, though, but she has never been the easiest girl to talk to.

My phone bleeped right after I had landed. I groaned and leaned on my arm as I tried to get it on the floor, some meters away from my bed, but ended up falling face first onto the floor.

“Ouch”, I let out a few more swears under my breath and managed to get a hold of my phone without even getting my face up from the floor. I lifted my face a bit, resting my chin on the floor, before deciding to let my whole body fall onto the floor. Less painful position, check. Now, about that message I got…

**1 new message.**

**From: Armin.**

Ah, thank god, it’s someone I can tolerate, I thought, as I opened it.

**yo hrsfce u in 4 gardns f da galxy tmrrw@7pm? bring ur own cash**

Of course Eren had used Armin’s phone to send me a message, that dickhead. I could barely read it.

I flipped onto my back, and wrote a reply.

**u kidding right? ofc im in, even if ur ugly ass is there**

I smirked at how smart I thought I sounded, and sat up, getting the charger. When I had plugged it in, my phone bleeped again.

**Whoa, that’s rude, Jean. But we’re happy that you’ll join us!**

I groaned again. Those jerks had planned it, and I fell for it. God damn it.

**we meet in town at 7pm right? u guys need to remind me where the cinema is now.**

It didn’t take long before they replied again.

**See you there!**

I smirked to myself. Finally, something fun to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive noticed that the title for this fic doesnt really fit tho


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some memories are hard to let go of

“Man, that movie was awesome!”

It was dark outside, and Eren and I had already parted from Armin, who lived in another part of town.

“Told you we shouldn’t miss it!” Eren was literally beaming, remembering the movie, and the best parts of it. I bet he tried to remember every quote from the raccoon.

“Dude, you were the one who told me to stay inside to keep this damned thing a secret.”

“Well, in my defense, it wasn’t my idea to keep your moving here a secret. Besides, it’s not a secret anymore, is it?” he held his hands up in a defensive way, as if _I_ was the one who needed to chill.

“Then who’s to blame? Armin, who came up with the idea?”

“Nah, he had well intentions, we can’t really blame him,” the way he said that made me think something was going on between them, but I forgot it as soon as I had thought it. He turned to face front again, but didn’t notice how it went from sidewalk to road. He almost tripped, but somehow managed to get one foot in front of him, to keep him up before his knee hit the ground.

“Whoa, man, watch your steps, or you’ll get yourself killed before you get a date,” I smirked at him, knowing well how he hated me teasing him like that.

“Shut up!” he blushed, and gave me an angry glare, before mumbling something.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing special,” was all he said, and we didn’t really say anything more about that subject for the rest of the way home, until he went to the street he lived in, some blocks away from mine.

The fact that we didn’t talk about it, didn’t change my curiosity, though.

 

The next day was Sunday, and I had gotten Eren and Armin to join me in my boredom. They somehow found old photo albums I was sure I had hidden in a box in some storage room. I had made sure it would be hard to find them, so my mom wouldn’t use it to embarrass me in front of my friends. She had never done it before, but just in case, you know? And now they had found it.

Looking at its spine, we found out it was from around eleven years ago, from first grade. The first thing we saw was a picture of me with a backpack, smiling with uneven teeth (I got them fixed in fifth grade, though). The picture under, was of Armin, Eren and me. We were about the same height, and we all had round cheeks and some missing teeth. I was the one with the worst amount of baby fat, and I had my natural messy, brown hair. Armin’s hair was shorter than how he was now, and Eren looked like a troublemaker, even back then, with a Band-Aid on his cheek.

“Ah, this is first day of school!” Armin recalled, and Eren hummed in agreement.

“And I remember we got in trouble for fighting,” I laughed at the memory.

“Wasn’t that because you were jealous of me, though?” Eren smirked in my direction, and I shook my head at him.

The next picture was from the same day. It was Eren, Mikasa and Armin; Eren grinning wider than what should be possible. They had their arms around each other’s shoulders, with Mikasa in the middle, and I recalled the playground in the background. In the one under, there was me, pouting like a damned crybaby. I think it my parents took them right after the one above, and that I was angry about not being in the picture. I laughed at it, because I was such a brat back in the day.

On the next page, there was a picture, which looked like a baby had made it, which it most likely was. It seemed like it was supposed to be some stick-people, but with a far too small upper body, extremely long legs, and about seventeen fingers on each hand. One of them had many lines on the sides on their head, supposedly meant to be long hair. The three others had differently coloured lines on top of their head. If I had to guess, I think it was supposed to be Eren with the angry face set in a frown, Armin with a big smile and blue eyes, Mikasa with no hair in the back, and me smiling as if I had the tiniest mouth possible, and no nose, of course.

“Jean, did you draw this?” Armin turned to look at me, and Eren choked back a laugh.

“If so, then I think this would have been made in first grade?” I mused, trying to see if I could remember drawing it. I could not recall it at all, which was no surprise.

“First grade? This looks more like it was drawn by a kindergartener!” Eren struggled with keeping his laugh down, and held a hand in front of his mouth, in hope it would help. It didn’t.

“As if you were any better,” I grimaced at him.

“Guys, let’s just look at the pictures in peace, please?” Armin begged.

We sat down, not having recalled standing, and looked at the next picture.

Just as we had almost gone through half of the book, my mother came in with a framed picture.

“To bring back memories!” she smiled at us, before leaving us to look at it.

It was a picture of a class, it seemed. Not just any class. It was our class, from first grade.

In front, I saw Eren and Armin, grinning, despite getting sun in their eyes. I was right behind them with a smug expression, being a little taller than they were. Good going, little me, I thought, until I saw that I was wearing a vest. My mother had dressed me that day, and I looked hella dumb, to be honest. At least Armin and Eren weren’t any better, since they were both wearing vests as well. Why did we let our parents – or grandparents – do that to us?

I recognized another person in front, but only barely. His dark hair combed to part in the middle, and his freckles were easy to remember.

“Is that Marco?” I asked to make sure my suspicions were right.

“Ah, yes, it is!” Armin realized, and I think we all took a better look at him, how he was back then.

His dark hair was short, and seemed like it would be a giant mess if his mom hadn’t combed it like that. He didn’t wear a vest, but he wore a superman t-shirt. He was probably the smallest one in class back then, and the roundest one, and perhaps he had the most loving parents?

“He hasn’t really changed that much, has he?” Eren grinned at Armin.

“No, he’s still the one who smiles the most, and his face is about the same!” he smiled back, and I felt like I needed to ask.

“How is he, though? I mean, has he changed in ten years?” I turned to Armin, thinking he would give a better answer than Eren.

“He hasn’t, unless you mean physically. He’s still probably the kindest in class, rivalling with Historia,” he pointed at a pretty cute blonde girl in the picture, “but you’ll recognize him straight away!”

“We’ll help him a bit with finding you, though, as you’re almost unrecognizable,” Eren nodded, as if he told himself it was a good plan.

“So, I’ll recognize him right away?” I repeated.

Armin nodded, and Eren grinned, before they both turned to look at the picture again. We spent some time making sure I remembered the names of those I used to hang out with, and they told me who had moved away, and who had stayed.

After having stared at the picture for so long, I could see it in my inner eye. We turned to look at the photo album again.

After seeing a few more pictures, this time also with Marco in them, we saw a picture of my family.

My mother was there, and I was in her arms. Someone had positioned the camera to take pictures automatically, and next to my mother, was my father.

I felt like puking.

Armin and Eren didn’t notice what was wrong, but I immediately noticed how happy we looked, how oblivious we were, how healthy he looked. How happy my mother was.

I sat up so quickly, my chair fell behind me. It startled both of them, and they seemed very confused, as they saw my face.

I didn’t have time to worry about them not understanding what was happening. I needed to get out of there.

I clenched my hands into fists, as I walked quickly out of the room, into the kitchen, out into the garden, and then I lost it. I ran. I needed air. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to get out of there. My immediate thought was to escape, to run as far as I could, but I knew I couldn’t. I did the second best thing.

I ran to the other side of the lake. There was a big tree there. I remembered it well. It was easy to find, as it was the biggest one in the forest.

I climbed the tree, as fast as I could. One branch, another one, one I just barely reached, one on the other side of the tree, one right in front of me.

I found a thick branch, and sat on it. This was far enough, I thought. I hadn’t noticed how exhausted I was, and how hard I was breathing. My breath was coming in gasps, and I felt my whole body shaking. I leant back, so my back was against the tree. I tried to steady my breathing, and wiped the tears I hadn’t noticed had left my eyes.

I took deep breaths, and looked around myself, at the forest, and the lake. If I stood, I was sure I could see the roof of my house from there.

Up here, I felt free. I was far from everyone, and no one could reach me up here, save for squirrels and birds.

When my father ended up in the hospital, I did the same. I ran as fast as I could, and ended up at the lake. That was how I found it, too. I felt like it wasn’t enough, so I dove right into it, swam as fast as I could to the other side, and found this very tree. My mother didn’t come home that night, and when it got dark, I only barely found my way home myself. Nobody noticed I was gone, and I was completely okay with it. It felt better, and I liked knowing I could deal with my own problems.

Luckily, no one knew of this hiding spot. I could be all alone, and wait for my emotions to calm. I could look at the lake, and think things through.

This way, I could be alone. This was exactly what I needed right now.

Loneliness could sometimes be my only escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the updates are nowhere near weekly, I mostly just write when i can, or want to, and the chapters are, as you might have noticed, pretty short, and my grammar's not the best tbh...  
> but I'm working on it, i swear! >A


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> school starts and awkward drop-offs

I woke up at six am, and the first thing on my mind was, _who am I going to kill for this?_

I then remembered that I was the one who set my alarm, and I didn’t feel like dying the day school started.

I got up, and somehow managed to take a shower, and get dressed without tripping in my own feet. When I got down to the breakfast table, my mother was already there, with two plates of omelettes placed on the table. She had her head low, and had a tight grip on her cup of coffee. Even with her bangs in front of her eyes, I could still see she was far from happy, and I knew immediately what she was thinking about.

When she heard my steps right outside the kitchen, she immediately brought a hand to wipe some tears from her eyes, looking another way, before she looked at me, with a smile on her face. She hadn’t managed to make it a happy one though, and I started to wonder how long she had been up.

“Good morning, Jeanie-boy!”

“Morning, ma,” I told her, and faked a yawn, in hope it would make it seem like I hadn’t seen her sad.

“I made your favourite!” she gestured towards the other side of the table, and I sat down, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand to make me seem sleepy.

Eating the breakfast she made me, I often noticed my mother glance in my direction. She seemed to be thinking about something, but what that was, I had no idea.

I finished my plate, and rose from the table, when she took the plate from my hands.

“Go get ready, little carrot, I’ll finish cleaning up here,” she smiled at me, before hiding a laugh when I got visibly embarrassed at her nickname for me.

I nodded at her, walking up the stairs to brush my teeth, and getting my bag.

"Ma, when does the bus leave?" I called down, as I put in the earplugs into my phone.

"Ah, sorry, I don't know! I'll drive you!"

"It's not that far, I'll walk or something," I told her as I walked down the stairs and checking my bag if I had everything I needed. Sketchbook? Check. Pencil? Check. Eraser? Check. Notebook? Check. Earplugs, phone, keys and wallet were there as well. I had all I needed.

"No, bo, I've already decided. Get into the car, I want to see you off," she picked up her car keys, and I was about to tell her I could drive there myself, until I remembered last time I drove to school. Full parking lots on first days are hellish. Besides, if it made her happy, who was I to say no?

 

I already regretted the decision in the car.

"Make sure you make new friends! Oh, and greet your old ones! I remember you were so close back in the day!" I sighed as she recalled another memory from before I was ten, looking out at the streets. There were some kids running in the same direction as us, all happy and excited and unknowing of the future. There were also some older kids, more knowing of the future, but still all optimistic as fuck. As this was a small school, it shared the building with elementary and junior high. I never understood how there were so small schools in this country. "You've got everything? Your notebook? Your phone? Your keys? Your bag?"

"Yes, ma, I've double-checked it all, don't worry," I told her for the third time since we had left the house. If anyone were to forget anything, it would be her, forgetting her phone in the kitchen. I bet she had done it, too. "Well then, here we are!" She chimed, and parked in the bus stop, as there were no buses around. "Then I'll be going," I took off my seatbelt and kissed her cheek. "Have a nice day at school, mon lapin!" She sang, as I opened the door. Luckily, nobody had heard her call me _her little bunny_ , so I was safe. _For now_.

 

We all got into the gym, every damned student in the whole school. Not like there was that many. If I had to guess the amount of people in this school in total, I would say around three hundred people, also counting the teachers.

Luckily we got chairs, because as soon as the teacher opened his welcoming speech with a “boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a new school year,” I felt the drowsiness from waking up not too long ago fall upon me. I sat with Eren and Armin on both sides of me – they hadn’t found any other classmates in this chaos, and I could see Eren struggling to deny the drowsiness, and Armin managing to sit up straight, even while asleep. Around me, there were more people nodding off, falling off their chairs, leaning on others, or just yawning. Everyone around me seemed to agree that the principal’s speech was boring.

I decided to look at the teachers. I would have to deal with them for the rest of the year, so why not see who it is, right?

At the far left, there was a person with glasses and long brown hair in a ponytail. I couldn’t see them properly, so I couldn’t say for sure what gender this person was.

Next to them, was a large blonde man, with giant eyebrows. From what I saw, he could have been a P.E. teacher, but I had a feeling he taught something else as well. I couldn’t ask Eren, because he would hit me and tell me to _stay quiet, you dumb fuck! I don’t want the teach to see us talking!_ The next teacher told me why.

To the right of mister tall blonde and handsome, there was a small man. He was so small, I had trouble seeing him over the crowd. His eyes were small, as if he needed glasses because he couldn’t see properly, but he noticed my eyes on him, and stared in my direction. I shook my eyes off him, as I felt his eyes on me, and me alone. _Damn, he was scary_.

There were more as well, but I felt the small dark teacher’s eyes on me for the rest of the speech, so I didn’t take the chance of looking at them.

 

After the speech, we woke Armin, who told me that every class had their own classrooms, and we were in the end of the hall. The lights there weren’t working properly, and the janitor was too lazy to do anything about it, Eren mentioned, and I really fucking hoped that was a joke. It wasn’t.

The hallway was hella long, and I felt as if just walking to the end of it was going to take an hour, because of all the other students there. Luckily, they were all going into their own classrooms, so we could go between groups of people.

At the end of the hall, what Eren said happened to be true. The lights really needed to be changed, and the doors were wide open, but the classroom was empty. This was going to be hellish, I thought. _A nightmare of a school_.

“Stop standing there and go to your seat, damned scaredy-cat!” Eren laughed, as he pushed me into the classroom.

The room itself was different from what I had imagined. It was incredibly clean, and there were folded papers with names on each desk, set up so that we could see who was sitting where. Mine was in the middle, a bit to the front, and I noticed that I was sitting to the left of Eren. Damn it.

Eren and Armin were still standing outside, when I sat down. They seemed to be talking to classmates, and I could almost _hear_ them saying “ _did you have a nice summer? Ah, that’s great!”_

Mikasa joined them after a while, and I almost thanked god for letting me see her. _God damn, we have a miss universe in here!_ She stayed with them, also greeting our classmates, sometimes even smiling a bit. I was kind of jealous of those who managed to make her smile, and I almost wanted to stand over there with them. _Almost._

After a while, there were at least thirteen people in the classroom. Some of them came to greet me, and introduced themselves. Lisa, Theo, Daniel, Ishmael, and Arthur told me their names. They seemed pretty nice. There was also a girl who grimaces when she saw me, and they told me her name was Hitch. _Rhymes with bitch,_ I thought, but she grimaced at me again, as if she had heard it. Maybe she had a sixth sense about that thing? Fuck, as if that was possible. I smirked to myself, I’m such an idiot. It’s only a coincidence, right?

I didn’t notice Armin glancing towards me until I heard my name. I didn’t hear what they were talking about, but my name caught my attention.

They seemed to be talking cheerfully, even laughing a bit. Eren saw me looking, and gave me a look telling me to _not fuck up_ , or something like that. I had no idea. Why do people expect me to be good at reading faces?

They all stepped in, Armin in front, followed by Eren and Mikasa, and then the one they were talking with. The last one noticed me, and smiled carefully, before walking in my direction.

He stopped right in front of my desk.

Even after ten years, I recognised him right away. The same dark eyes, the same short, dark hair combed to part in the middle, and the same freckles. He was tall, with broad shoulders, and a square jaw. He wasn't too muscular, but god damn was he still hot as hell.

"Uhm, you're Jean, right?" The uncertainty in his voice was hard to ignore.

"Sure am. How ya doing, freckles?"

"Been better," he chuckled, before taking the chair from the desk in front of me, turning it around so he sits with his legs on either side of the back. He then places his elbows on the back of it, and his chin in his hands.

"Been a while," I deadpanned, and he grimaced at me.

"A while, yea, I guess you could say that," we laughed, which somehow signalised to Eren and Armin that it was safe to come near.

“I knew you would be able to befriend this grumpy asshole!” Eren grinned at him, placing an arm around his neck. I gave him a glare. Asshole.

“Marco’s sitting right in front of you this year,” Armin smiled at me, before placing his bag on the seat to the left of Marco’s. Mikasa placed hers behind me. _The gang is together again,_ I grinned.

A girl ran into the classroom, looking around and smiling as she saw Marco. He waved to her, and she placed her stuff at the seat to his right. She had blonde hair, reaching her shoulders, and big blue eyes. She was incredibly cute, as well.

“Historia, you came just in time!” Marco smiled to her – at least I thought he was. He had his back turned towards me, so I couldn’t see his face.

“The teacher hasn’t been here, has he?” she asked him, before sitting down just in time to see the small scary man from earlier come in. _Fuck._

 

“Okay brats, listen up. We’re here not only to learn, but because it’s law. We all know what you would do if it wasn’t law to be here, you would all be sleeping all day, like the useless little shits you are. So hear me out here,” he leant over the table in front, and he suddenly seemed much taller than we all knew he was. “Don’t make this more of a hell than it already is.”

No one said a word. Some nodded, and some tried to keep in a yawn, but that was it.

He wrote his name in chalk on the blackboard behind him.

“Levi Ackerman. I’m going to be your homeroom teacher this year, and I will _not_ tolerate cheating or littering, understood?” he turned to face us again, and I felt a chill as his eyes landed on me.

The sounds of his steps echoed in the room, and he was headed straight towards me. I could see Marco flinch when he glanced towards him, and Armin also tried to not flinch when the small man looked his way for a split second. I glanced towards Eren, who seemed to be curious about what was going on, but he also seemed pretty nervous. The little man stopped so he could look me straight in the eyes.

“You’re new, aren’t you?”

“Y-yes sir!”

“Well, then, what’s your name?”

“I-it’s on the paper, right there?” I tried to nod in the direction of the folded paper, but he never took his eyes off me.

“What’s your name?”

“Jean Kirschstein!”

“German or French?”

“F-French!”

“Then tell me,” he stood up straight, “why the hell is your surname German for ‘cherry stone’?”

“W-why would I know?” I felt another chill when he seemed to be studying me, but then he turned back to his desk, and sat down behind it, and I could let out the breath I was holding.

“Okay, then. In addition to being your homeroom teacher, I am also a French teacher, as well as a math teacher. Try to keep it clean, and have a good day.”

 _Fuck,_ I thought again. _Why did I have to choose French?_

 

“Fuck, why did I have to choose German?” Eren mumbled angrily to himself as we left the classroom. We had gotten sheets of papers with information about teachers and books, and all we needed, and he was glaring at one particular spot. I looked over my own paper with the same information, and saw the name of the teacher in charge of teaching German.

“So you would rather have this angry dwarf teaching you French than some dude named Erwin Smith teaching you German?” I mused.

“Dude, Ackerman is awesome! And he gets angry when you call him short, so don’t do that, man!” he seemed irritated by my comment, I noticed.

“What’s so great about him anyways? He’s tiny, and seems to have serious anger issues, and it’s like he tries too hard to talk like us? I mean, what the fuck? Is he trying to use it to cover up his insecurities of being short?” I smirked, seeing him getting angrier by every word.

I felt someone slap my head with some papers.

“If I was insecure about being short, I would have worn heels. I know I would rock them, unlike someone with your posture, brat,” I heard a low voice, and I immediately stiffened.

“Straightening your back is good, but you’re too stiff. That won’t do,” Levi walked past and shook his head, somehow hiding a small smirk.

“He’s cool, see?” Eren seemed to be glowing in admiration, and I replied by shrugging, and we continued walking to the playground outside the school. It was recess, and they had promised to show me around, even if it was such a small school, there was no way I would get lost.

 

After school, Marco, Historia, Eren, Mikasa and I walked home together. Armin’s house was in the opposite direction, so he had left us by the school gates.

“So what language are you studying, Jean?” Marco turned his head to face me. He seemed genuinely interested, but that was his nature. He was genuinely interested in everyone.

“I’m going to get mister stick-up-his-ass Ackerman as my French teacher,” I told him. “At St. Rose I was the only guy in my French class, but Armin is also taking French, so I’ll have a partner for once,” I grinned, remembering how Annie was far from conversable when I had had to work together with her.

“Ah, Levi? He’s actually not that bad,” he smiled. _Easy for you to say, you like everyone,_ I thought bitterly.

“He seemed to be interested in you, actually!” Historia chimed in. “It’s pretty rare to get a new student here! Most of them move away, like Marlowe did! He apparently got the highest score on every French test, so Levi seemed pretty down when he moved away,” she explained.

“Didn’t they have more tests that month?” Marco turned to face front again, and scratched the underside of his nose. Was that a thinking quirk?

“Yes, I believe so!” _And how could she say that so happily?_

“Anyways, guys, this is my street, see you all tomorrow!” she sang, before waving goodbye and turning to walk away.

We all said ‘bye’, and Eren joined us in front.

“So, you’re gonna tell me how good of a teacher Levi is, right?”

“Why don’t you ask Armin?” I flipped him off, and Marco seemed to want to hold it back.

“I tried, he just told me how good he was from an objective angle,” Eren flipped me back, but there was no bitterness between us.

“That’s because you’re the only one in class who likes Levi,” Mikasa’s voice made us turn our heads.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re the one who respects him the most, as a person. We respect him, _as a teacher._ ”

“To be honest, sometimes it almost sounds like you have a crush on the man,” Marco says, and _wow, I did not expect him to say something like that._

“A crush? On _him?”_ Eren also seems rather surprised by the comment, but he continues, “Look, I respect the man, and I can agree that he’s attractive, but no, I don’t think so.”

“We never said anything about him being attractive,” Marco taunts him.

“Shut up, I know I can’t be the only one thinking it!”

“Well, maybe Erwin can agree?” Mikasa speaks up again. Marco seems to think about this for a moment, before nodding. Eren also thinks about it, but shudders. I just shrug. I still had no idea who Erwin was.

 

Eren and Mikasa says bye when they reach their street, and not long after that, Marco finds his street as well.

When I close the front door behind me, I don’t see my mother’s shoes. _Is she out?_ I call out to her anyways.

“Hey ma, I’m home!”

She doesn’t answer, so I look for her. Not in the kitchen. The doors to the bathrooms were open, and without mothers. Not in the garden either.

I go upstairs, and feel the restlessness in my legs. There’s a chanting of _where is she, where is she?_ In my mind, and my breathing is uneven. I’m nervous, I feel, and I start thinking, _what if I have done something wrong?_

I open her bedroom door, and see the blanket drawn over a rather big female body, and I feel I sigh in relief. I then shake my head, thinking, _why would she have ended up in any trouble?_

I decide to leave a note on her nightstand, saying that I’m home, and I start making dinner. When she wakes up, she’s most likely going to be hungry, so I decided to be of some use for once.

Besides, I’m hungry as well.

I think back at the papers I got at school today. I should show her them when we have eaten, so she can also take a look at them. I then think back to how it was there. Creepy old school building, a teacher with daggers for eyes, and some cool people. That was the general gist of it, I thought.

A smirk planted itself on my lips.

I got the feeling this year was going to be hellish, but fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter is kinda long, srry about that  
> but yea, things are starting! and we finally met Marco! yay!  
> also, Levi's lines are hella fun to write


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> French, Physics and Biology. Tuesdays are going to be hell from now on.

The first day of school is always okay. You somehow manage to get up early and get your ass ready for school and there’s not much you’re supposed to do that day. You get some information and then you go home.

The second day of school isn’t quite as easy. You’re barely able to open your eyes, and you have trouble finding your phone to turn off your alarm. When you finally find it, you unlock it and you’re blended by the screen, and somehow manage to fail at writing the code three times. You then have a hard time getting out of the warmth and safety that is your blanket, and you then need to get showered and dressed, before finally getting some breakfast.

That was how my second day of school started. I let out an _extremely_ manly squeal when my feet touched the ground and when I finally got out of bed I slipped on some socks. After having showered and dressed, I managed to go down the stairs without slipping, though I almost lost my grip on the milk carton when I yawned. My mother was still asleep, so I left a note on the refrigerator, telling her I was off.

I was still yawning when I walked to school, but I still recognized who was walking in front of me.

“Marco!” I called out, and walked quicker to catch up with him.

He turned his head slowly, and I noticed how he was squinting.

“Mornin’,” he mumbled, right before he yawned.

“Not a morning person?”

“Not in the slightest,” he said. I smirked, thinking about how to keep this against him in the future.

We walked together in silence for most of the way, as both of us were fighting yawns. It wasn’t uncomfortable, we just had nothing to talk about either, and we were both tired. Fuck mornings.

Arriving at school, we saw Armin waiting at the gate.

“Morning, guys!” he greeted us, “Did you see Eren on the way?”

“No, I think that’s why Jean’s in such a good mood,” Marco smiled at him.

“Aw, and he told Mikasa and me that he didn’t need us to wake him today…” he sighed, before taking out his phone. “I’m going to call him, he has most likely overslept.”

Marco and I told him we’d see him in class, and went in the gates of doom.

“So, first class of today is languages…”

“First class is hell,” I corrected him.

 “I have Spanish, so I’ll have a different teacher than you, you know!”

“Ugh, you’re so lucky…” I told him with a groan.

“I’m not all that lucky, you know” he said quietly.

“Why is that? Is there someone worse than the angry gnome?”

“I wouldn’t call her worse, exactly…” he started.

He didn’t get to continue what he had started to say, as the bell rung.

“Shit! I gotta get my books!”

“See you in lunch?”

“Yea!” I called behind me, as I ran towards the little spot where the lockers were. Shit, if I was late to the first class, my teacher wouldn’t let me off easy, I just knew it.

 

“Roll call! Armin Arlert?”

“Here, sir!”

I opened the door as quietly as I could. Hearing that, I knew I had come just in time.

“Jean Kirstein?”

“Y-yes!” _he just skipped all the names before mine! What the **fuck**?_

“You’re late. You were supposed to be here when the class started, not three minutes later.”

“Ah, I… I were getting my books,” I said, as I held up what was in my arms to show that they were indeed French textbooks.

I felt all the eyes in the room were looking at me, and I silently walked over to my seat. _Fuck. I’m never going to be late again._

 

After class, as I put away my pen and eraser, Levi was suddenly standing in front of my desk. He raised a hand to tell me to stay in my seat, and sat down in the seat in front of me.

“Your teacher sent me your results from last year,” he told me.

“What about them?”

“You were in top of your class.”

“Yes, French is one of my better subjects.”

“So, say something in French. I need to know about your pronunciation.”

“He didn’t tell you anything of my pronunciation?”

“He did, but I need to hear it myself. As I am a Frenchman myself, I think I know better than some American person studying it for five years in school.”

You know when people tell you to say something in a language, you forget every damned word you’ve learnt? That was what happened to me. People could have asked me what a _baguette_ was and I wouldn’t be able to answer.

So since that happened, I decided to improvise, and quote a movie I’d have watched in French.

“Selon toutes les loies de l'aviation, il n'y a aucun moyen qu'une abeille puisse voler---“ _According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly_ \---

“Kirstein, watching a movie with French audio is good for your pronunciation, but it doesn’t help your grade when you recite it directly like that in a presentation. Besides,” he leaned closer to me.

“Bee Movie was a shitty movie, and we both know it.”

 

After parting with him, and promising to not quote more shitty movies (when I suggested Shrek, he almost fucking _smirked,_ but he told me that wouldn’t help my grades at all) I finally got to my next class. Physics. More hell.

At least in this class I had more than one person I knew in my class. When I got there, Armin had found Eren and Mikasa, and right in front of Historia, Marco had kept me a spot. _Sweet._ The teacher wasn’t there yet, so I was still safe--

“Open your textbooks to the chapter list!”

The door behind me slammed open, and behind me was suddenly a tall blonde man blessed with a chest-to-waist ratio of a dorito. He almost walked right into me, damn him, as he held his chin high and couldn’t see me _down here. Fuck._

I hurried to the spot saved for me, and hoped to god that teacher hadn’t noticed me. Marco gave me an apologetic look, and I gave him a look that said I’m okay.

“We have a new kid in our class, don’t we?” Mister Tall Blonde and Handsome looked around the classroom, but didn’t see me as I sat on front row. _Well fuck you too, mister dorito._

 “Here,” Marco raised his hand, hoping this man would see him.

Luckily for him, not so much for me, he saw him. And then me.

“So, you’re the new kid, huh?”

“Y-yes, sir”

He was quiet for a while, studying me.

I had found my pencils and notebook, when he suddenly held out his hand for me.

“The name is Erwin Smith. I’m a math, physics and German teacher. I’ll be looking forward to teaching you a thing or two this year.” _God damn, this guy is an actual Captain America._

“N-nice to meet you,” I said, and held out my hand. He took it in his own, and shook it in one firm shake, before letting me sink into my chair again.

“Meet me after class, I have a lot to discuss with you,” he said, before turning his back to us, to face the blackboard and write something about what we were going to learn about.

Is it bad that I kinda looked forward to having this class?

 

Because I was going to meet the Dorito after class, to explain _in fucking detail,_ what I had learned in physics, chemistry and math the year before, I was almost late for my next class, which was biology.

I quietly find my seat, but as soon as I’m sitting, the teacher is in front of me, leaning over my desk, with a wild look in her eyes.

“H-hello?” I try carefully.

“Hello, my name is Hanji Zoe! You’re the new kid, aren’t you? I heard from Levi, your name is Jean, and your surname is German?” she smiled sweetly at me, but the wild look didn’t disappear.

“A-ah, yea, that’s me,” I lean back, in hope she will get the hint of _please don’t be so close,_ but she leaned in _closer._

“Nice to meet you! I’ve planned something special for you since you’re new!”

She walked back to the front and looked in a drawer on the teacher’s desk up front, and took out something I really _wished I could un-see it._

“You can decide what you want to dissect! Frog, Cow-eye, Horse lung, or heart?”

_Fuck. Can I leave now?_

 “Hanji seemed pretty impressed with your work in class today, you know?” Armin stopped me right outside the school gates. “They were smiling a lot as you worked!”

“What, seriously?”

“Yes! They’re pretty easy to impress, but you seemed to make a great first impression!”

“Fuck ye—wait, ‘they’?” I’m pretty sure my confusion showed on my face.

“Yes, Hanji told us last year they would like it if we didn’t use female or male pronouns about them, so we use ‘they’ and ‘them’, see?” he gestured with his hands, showing the clear difference between the different pronouns, as if I didn’t know the difference already.

“So, I shouldn’t use ‘her’ or ‘she’ about he—I mean, them?” I said, and mentally kicked myself for almost using female pronouns again.

“Yup, that’s it! Takes a while to get used to it, though, Eren used a whole week,” he laughed.

“Well, wouldn’t put it past him,” I grinned, and started turning around to walk home, raising my hand to wave bye to him behind me.

“By the way, Jean!”

“What is it Ar?”

“Why did you choose, of all the different choices they gave you, to dissect the horse lung?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, now he's met the trio! they're all teachers!   
> also, thanks to my dear friend Rachel for help with the french!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> somehow, wednesdays seem much more fun?

There are good ways to wake up. Sleeping in, not being tired anymore, so you actually sit up by your free will. Waking up, knowing you don’t have to do anything yet. Waking up by a phone call from someone you like.

But there are also bad ways to wake up.

“MORNING JEANNE!Wakey-wakey! It’s Wednesday, better get up or you’ll be late!”

“Fuck off, Sash, it’s not even 06.30, what do you want?”

Having been woken up by a song I didn’t recognize, most likely in another language, and also most likely changed by a _certain asshole whose name starts with an E,_ I was in no mood for happy people.

“Aw, and I was going to be kind and inform you about _certain activities_ that happen on Wednesdays!” she said, her voice still chipper as hell.

“Why would I need to care about weekly activities?” I growled.

“Because there’s a penalty for those who doesn’t!” she laughed.

“And what’s the activity?” I rose from my comfy position in bed, and yawned.

“Ahaha, I think you’ll find out soon enough!”

 

When I arrived at the school gates, Armin stood waiting for me.  
"I take it Sasha didn't tell you?" He said, studying me.  
"Tell me what?"  
"Even after I asked her to... Well, whatever," he sighed and threw something at me, which I _gallantly_ received, not by almost getting it in my face.  
"Take it on," he instructed, and I looked closer at the thing he had given me.  
"What the fuck? Why would I need a pink wristwatch?" I grimaced.  
He simply grinned.  
"Wear it or face the consequences."  
  
When Eren arrived, I noticed him wearing the dumbest shirt ever. Yea, he _is_ dumb, but he wouldn't wear that shirt out of free will. Something's going on here.  
"Hey, what's with the pink?" I asked him, to which he replied with the stupidest quote.  
"On Wednesdays we wear pink!"  
"Okay, what the fuck."  
His shirt was a very light pink, and seemed a bit tick in material. It seemed like it was supposed to be a bit big, to make it seem cute, but on him, it wasn't big at all. There were also complicated signs on the chest, most likely something Japanese.  
"Armin, you told me there were consequences?" I turned to face the blonde. On further inspection, I noticed he was wearing all pastels today, with pink pants and a turquoise shirt. He was one of the only people I knew who could look good in pastels.  
"We have a penalty game," he smirked.  
"And I don't see you wearing any pink, Eren grinned. I flipped him off so he could see the pink wristwatch Armin had given me.  
"Aw, man, and it would've been hilarious, too!" He pouted.  
"Fuck off, Jaeger."  
  
As the others arrived, I noticed everyone was wearing something pink. Mikasa wore a pink shirt which looked great on her, Christa with a small pink jacket over a pink blouse, that girl Hitch even came in a pink scarf.

When about half the class had arrived, I still hadn’t seen Marco, so I turned to ask Armin, who whispered back that he had overslept. Eren commented something along the lines of _heh, first Wednesday he’s late, as usual._

When a tall blonde guy with a weird moustache came into the classroom to introduce himself as our geography teacher, Marco came in behind him, just in time. He wasn’t wearing anything pink though. I could hear Eren’s little _yes!_ behind me, and I wondered just _what the hell that penalty game is?_

Marco looked almost defeated as he sat down next to me, and I was tempted to ask what he had to do, but the teacher noticed me as a new person, and told me Erwin had told him, blablabla, something about wishing me welcome to Trost. He also told me he knew my mother, and that he had known me when I was a kid. _Whoa, creepy teach, exactly what I wanted to know._

 

After class, Eren was the first to talk to Marco.

“Bottom or top?”

“Uhm… I think top?”

“As usual?”

“Y-yea, I think I’ll take the summer top, as it’s still warm out.”

_… What?_

“Guys, Jean still don’t know what you’re talking about. Should we tell him about the penalty game?” Armin leaned in from his seat, interrupting them.

“Yea, true, you didn’t even know about this?” Marco turned to face me.

“Well, Armin gave me this without a proper explanation before I got here, and Eren told me about the thing you do, but I still have no idea about the penalty game” I told them, and pulled on my shirt sleeve to show the wristwatch.

“Ah, the one you usually kept for me?” Marco turned to Armin who started to explain.

“Marco is usually late on Wednesdays, and often forgets about the penalty game, so I keep this one for him every first Wednesday of the year. That way, he can at least have one week off, but this time…”

“So now I’m going to have to do the penalty,” the freckled one sighed, leaning over the table.

“It could’ve been worse, couldn’t it? Remember that time I forgot the watch right after Christmas?” Armin smiled, which caused Marco to grumble something about how he seemed to want to forget.

“Then, are you going to leave me in the dark or are you actually going to tell me what he’s going to have to do?” I felt irritation picking on my skin. I’ve never liked being left out.

“Ah, actually-“Marco started, but was interrupted by Eren’s “Wait for tomorrow!”

“It’ll last a whole week, so you have loads of time to figure out what’s going on!” Historia smiled.

“A whole week?” I gave Marco a questioning look, and he just smiled apologetically.

“Seems I’m not allowed to tell you, Jean. Sorry about that,” he scratched under his nose, and turned to get his stuff out of his bag.

Ah, true.

Still have the whole day left.

 

 

The next morning, I was awoken by my alarm. _Thank god, Jesus, whoever it was who let me sleep until now!_

I rolled over to my other side, and unlocked my phone screen, to reveal that my alarm was going, and that I had an unread message.

I turned off the alarm and opened the message.

**Marco (02.31am): Please don’t laugh tomorrow!**

My first thought was _HOLY FUCK THIS SCREENLIGHT IS BURNING MY EYES OFF!_ My second was _wait what, laugh?_ Then came the realisation, and I somehow managed to type a reply.

**Jean: mre importantly, how the fuck r u abl t stay awke t school wen awke t 2am??**

I yawned and rolled out of bed, thinking about breakfast.

 

I walked alone all the way to school. I never see Marco, or anyone. Marco also never answered _what_ I was suppose I laugh about. I didn't think too much about it, to be honest.

Going into the classroom, I couldn’t see the others either. There were the other classmates, but no one I really talked much to.

I sat down around the middle of the classroom, as usual.

"Hey, new guy."

I heard a voice behind me. When I turned around, I saw a girl with curly hair standing right behind me. I recognised her as Hitch.

“Never caught ya name,” she said, sitting on the edge of Historia’s desk.

“It’s Jean,” I said, placing my elbow to the back of my chair.

“John?” she said, trying to repeat it.

“Jean. Really close to Shawn. Written like jeans, except the s.”

“So, Jshawn?” she said, using the pronunciation for Shawn. Still not right.

“Jean.”

“But basically, Jean?” using the pronunciation from the pants, she snickered, somehow knowing I didn’t like it.

“You know what, forget it.”

“Aw, c’mon, John!”

“Nope, not playing this game.”

She pouted, but leaned back. I was about to ask her what her deal was when she leaned in again, with a different look in her eyes.

“You’re from Rose, aren’t ya?”

“What about it?” I didn’t say yes or no, but I had a feeling she already knew.

“You know that school has a history with loads of bullying?”

 

I knew.

I had been friends with Connie and Sasha since I moved from Trost. They were my first friends in Rose, and because of Connie, I also met Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie.

When Reiner came out as gay, and Bertl came out as bi, we didn’t leave them. The bullying started, and they soon started bullying the rest of our little group for different things. They found out Sasha’s dad run a potato farm, and started calling her potato girl, because she always had something potato-like in her lunch. She got angry in the beginning, but after a while, it was just sad. They started picking on Connie for not getting the best grades, even if he was on top of the class in psychology. He was seriously the best for when we felt bad, he always knew what to do or say.

When I came out as bi, they started bullying me too. We stayed together as a little group, trying not to let it get to us. Annie patted my shoulder and told me she was also bi, and the SashCon duo teased me whenever I had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Soon, those I was dating stopped seeing me, because they were afraid of being bullied themselves, and people in general stopped coming close, just in case someone had seen them, because of the horrible bullying going on.

It was a horrible time. But we got through it.

 

“I know that too well,” I told her. She stared at me for a long while before talking again.

“Remember a few years ago, there was this one girl they called “damned attention-whore”, because she came out as lesbian?”

“Yea?”

“And that she couldn’t escape the bullying without moving, so she did?”

“What about her?”

“Guess where I came from.”

It took a while for me to figure out what she meant, but when realisation came, it hit me in the face.

“Y-you were that girl?”

She nodded.

“All the bullying was starting to get to me, and my appetite was no good, and I cried myself to sleep. Granny said that was no way to live, so I moved to my other grandparents, who lived here,” she leaned back, most likely remembering different things from when she moved.

“I remember Marlowe being sad for that,” I said, before I managed to stop myself. They hadn’t been friends back in Rose, but they had hung out on several occasions. I had been Marlowe’s partner in several projects in French, so we had somehow become friends.

“Yea, that guy cares too much. People started bullying him too, you know. How’s he doin’?”

“I haven’t heard from him since I moved, but he’s doing okay, I think. There were occasions where he didn’t want to hang out because he didn’t want people to talk? I never caught whatever it was the others were gossiping about, but I have a feeling it had some impact on him,” I told her.

“I think they’re teasing him for being British, and for his clothing. Before I moved, people had asked if he was gay, which he wasn’t. Poor guy,” she sighed, before straightening her back.

“What I was meaning to say,” she started, “was that this place doesn’t have bullying. They might be afraid of the teachers,” she held up a finger, “or they’re actually respectful here,” another finger, “or they just don’t do it. That’s what I like about this place,” she finished with a grin.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, you seem like the kind of person to laugh at the “punishment game” we have here. And since it seems like you’re trying to fit in, I advise you to not fucking laugh, okay? Not this time, not when Marco’s the victim. Okay? He’s not good with this kind of thing.”

“Why would I laugh?” I growled at her, but she walked back to her usual seat, right before the door was opened.

The first to go in was Eren, who gave me a glare. _What the fuck is it with everyone today?_ I thought, and then I saw Christa and Mikasa walking in, followed by Armin, who said something to Marco who came in behind him.

I saw why they thought I would laugh. _Holy fuck, this is some punishment._

Marco wore a grey _crop top_ with big black letters spelling 'ANACONDA', and even if it seemed like it was supposed to seem big, it fit him perfectly. It showed off his broad shoulders, strong arms, and his collarbones. His fucking _collarbones._ You've got to be kidding me, this can't be real. He can't be _this hot,_ it's just not fair.

He sat down awkwardly, and I glanced over at Hitch, who have me a look that said "don't fucking do it."

I leaned forward, and placed my arms in a cross on my desk.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"W-what?" Marco seemed nervous about talking for me, and I didn't blame him.

"If I don't buy something pink, I'm going to have to wear a _crop top_?"

"Either that, or booty shorts. For a week," Eren spoke up behind us.

"Fuck, I really need to buy something pink..." I mumbled as I placed my head in my hands.

"You don't know where the shops are, do you?" Historia asked.

"There weren't any when I lived here, like ten years ago. And I didn't need to care about it back then, either. I was fucking eight, what do you think?" I growled at her.

"I'll show you," Mikasa told me, "I need to buy a new shirt anyways."

Fuck skinny legs. I might look good in skinny jeans, but I’m pretty sure I’d look horrible in booty shorts. And crop tops? There’s literally no part of me worth showing off.

“So when are you free?” I turned my head to ask her.

“Let’s go after school. There’s a sale I don’t want to miss. But Marco, maybe you’d like to show us the good café you like so much?”

“A-ah, no, I have other stuff to do!” Marco held up his hands in an apologetic gesture. “Hannah and Jennifer needs a babysitter, and they’re also having Lee and Miguel coming over, so I’m busy all day!”

“Aww, that sucks, and you were going to teach me how to bake that fruit cake you made earlier this summer!” Historia pouted behind him. “I’ve been looking forward to it all week!”

“Wait, you bake?” I asked.

“He’s the best confectioner we know!” Eren grinned, “And the one with the biggest sweet-tooth!”

“Well, then, I’m not going to share my Halloween candy with you,” I smirked towards the freckled face.

“That’s mean!” he pouted, but didn’t hide his laughter.

As we laughed, the door opened, and some sour-faced guy walked in, so we shut up.

As usual, I couldn’t wait for school to end. But this was for a slightly different reason. Who wouldn’t look forward to going shopping with the hottest girl in school?

But even if I was hella grateful for the (almost-) date with Mikasa, there was someone else I would be even more happy to go on a date with someday. Not like they would ever know, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for the delay!! ive had problems with writers-block, and school has started, and there's a con next weekend, and my snk cosplay is almost finished, except for the damned belts im currently working on (need more thread...)

**Author's Note:**

> so i finally started writing again.  
> yea, this is my first shot at writing a series, so feedback is very very very welcome!!  
> also, proofreader is my good friend Kris! shes awesome and i really love her for her help tbh  
> but it will most likely not be weekly updates, srry orz


End file.
